Monday, 30 January 2012

Bone Zone Crisis

Ello for you...it be me...Chancellor Marley...I dint be doin much this last week or so cos I been a bit under the wevver agane so insteads i do be bringin you up to date wiv da finanshull crisis cos it be affectin the price of your noms.

I fink you all duz kno that no matter where dogs is in the werld we do all be enjoyin a common currency wot be Noms (or the Nom, as we call it in hai finance)...

A Nom: denommynayshun one Bone

A longs time ago, all the dogs did agree dat no dog would be takin too many Noms for theyselves in order to protect the value of every dog's Nom....

Braney dog say "gets only wot you need"

...and they was makin rools wot every fur had to follow in order to keep some order to fings...

Always in faver of sensibull rools

 ...but nature bein nature not every fur was playin by the rools (probbly cats...or squirrels)....leadin to some doggies mebbe tellin fibs about wot they been up to...


Munee? I dussnt got your munnee....

...and this was bein ignored by peeple who find it convenient to look da other way...and becos some doggies was werkin hard....


Ello for you...welcome to Noms Inc....ow may I be of serviss?

....and able to prodoose a lot of stuff and be sellin it....



......this make peeple fink that all doggies was welffy and so they did be lendin even more munee to dogs wot could not rilly afford to be borrowin it.....


..but you dusnt be able to blame just banker doggies cos ovver doggies was askin for lots of Noms at the same time when they dint rilly ave munee to repay it....

Wot? Just a few essenshull items...
Oh, hai...got 0% finance....k?
Is Bulgari dahlin...

....and them doggies did be gettin a bit fat an lazy and wasnt werkin for wot they got....

Hai.....pull up a chair.....boss is out for a meetin....

Bizee....another doggie will serve you...

...and this lead to the bones you once had....



...bein werff a bit less than you fort they was.....

Down to last bone..pleez send elp...


...and now dogs is avin to do wivout access to lots of Noms....




...and is losin they jobs and wonderin where they next meals is comin from....

*....hummin Redemption Songs.....*

....leadin to sivil distrurbances....

Fair Noms for Fair Werk....

...and cuts...

....the ugly face of cuts....

er....no...the other sort of cuts....


Haz cut I noms....

...and to occupayshuns of public places...



....and disiloozhenmeint wiv pollytiks...


Dis nuffing....I iz reddy to poop...
....and that be where we is now my pals. I brings you up to date. I dussnt kno where it be goin from here but I do kno it probbly take a long time to be gettin fings back to normal....and will definitly involve every fur payin his share...




Wednesday, 18 January 2012

Monday, 16 January 2012

Great Fridge Raid Pt 2

Ello for you. Peeple wot be followin the blog for a while now do probbly remember the Great Fridge Raid...well...I haz good new for fans of the animals wot perppytrated that crime (*which do not be me for legal reasons)...it haz appended again...

Reconstrukshun of likley events


....mum came ome the other day to find that pakkits of butter, parmyzan cheez and bacon ave been liberated from the fridge an scoffed....I (as investygatin officer) ave asked for proofs that these items ave been removed from the fridge cos we do kno that the typist do not like to see the fridge fillied up wiv useless foodstuffs..

All food groups represented...if you is a alkyholic fish

....mum do be allegin that me an Lola ave been up insides the fridge lookin for our noms....


Haz got no label on it....must be mine...

....and i do arsk her whch of us is likley to ave had the tiny paws needed to open the locks and climbs into the narrow spaces provided for food storage...

Lola much smaller than me....faces changed to protect suspects (*Lola)

Pleez note: bigger dog avin trubble wiv access...(*Marley)

...and I has suggested to magystrates that it iz more likley some local ruffians be in there....

Cat burglars...
...er....sloth burglar...

...anyway...whoever dunnit didnt get away wiv much cos there was two vomits by the back door containin most of the missin foods...it look as if Italian dog been in lookin for ingredianets to make a nice carbonara...also there was a little pakkit of salad in our bed...which only prove it do not be me cos who would be so stoopids as to leev evvydence in his own beds...(*Lola).

All in all I fink we has got away wiv it not found snuff clues for convikshun...

Dussnt smell giltee.......

Tryin to preserve cloos....
..unsuccessful reconstrukshun....

To reward us for such sterling pleece werk we ave been taken for a nice walks wiv my dad, Rocky, and sisfur Islay...

Rockee...lickin his chops in antissipayshun

...and we made sure that mom brort the treats to elp wiv dissyplin

Lola commits foul in open play...

....we dint get many fotos of the walk because we was zooming too much an also all the paths was narrow and it was ard to see us so we did ave to waits til we get to the pub for lunches...I brort my own cushion for extra comforts..


Ome from ome....

...and to make sure my order was understood I gib dad a meaningful look...

....or else....

...we had a pawsome day and did pose for the pawparazzi outside.....

...this way?

...a very good day was had by all....and I did ave to make speshul efforts to freshen up after quite a bizee walks....



.....for them who want medical bulletin, it was only a short walk and i was carried the last 10 minnits to make sure i dint over do finds...

Woof....Marley x

Wednesday, 11 January 2012

Thursday, 5 January 2012

A rum Christmas

Ello for you. As many of you do kno, I did ave anuvver turn on Christmas Day and we did spend alf of the day in the hospital when my breevin got out of control. We did got to the emergencee vets and I did see my pal Megan and her border terrier Gaucho. They did look after me very well and I be fine ever since. We see the cardiganologist a cupple of days later and he did say me was probably caused by my meddysin lowering my blood pressure so we has just changed my tabblits. Fanks for all dem wot send me nice messages. I do preesheeate em all.

So...we did spend sum of Chrismuss openin I presents....after Santa had been down the chimernee in fru da kitchen door....

possiblee too fat for the chimernee


Kwality chekkin
....and nommin on em to make sure they is the right ones...


...and on the Boxing day it was mainly napping for me as a result of a  night of medical intervenshuns...

Doctors orders...
....but we did of corse get out and abowt at the first opportunitee and we haz used our new pooter for makin a small movee bout wot we did get up to...I ope you do like it...



....we is opin to get a bit better at movee makin cos we is still gettin used to the new pooter wot be be made of Apples (sorry Shawnee!!)...Willium did go to the Apple Shops to get some lernin bout ow to do it...

Pooter Skool...

All the walkin did make me tired but I had some sweet dreams that night....



....I kno sum of you fink I is meen for that fillum but I do assure you that no Lolas was urt durin its makin...and she is still alives as we speak...

My brush wiv deff also meant we had to delay our trip to see Grandma...but we did eventually get to go up in the magic car transporter...

This do not look like Bidness Class to me...

....and we did ave our Chrissmuss vegetables for lunch when we got there...

Carruts
...and opened a few prezzies...

Stoopid sellotapes...
Christmas hat...no use to me...
Useful for #anipalBC....
Crissmuss cow....nom nom
....and most excitin of all we did get to meet Storm, ower noo cuzzin wot be livin wiv Alice an Isobel...

Yup...dats right..Storm only got free legs...
But it did not stop her chaisn MY bone all day long...
...which cost her the sum of ONE CHEW...
The pace of our ectic schedyoool did catch up wiv Lola later in the day...


...and eventualee wiv bofe of us...

.....zzzzzzzz.....

And we did need our energee for the nex day cos cuzzin Lily was comin over to see us...

Grandma explain rools of engagement...

Lily zoomin...
We did go out for a nice walks and we did meet lots of nice doggies, incloodin Harry a border terrier pup...ello Arry if you is readin this...and Lola and Lily was doin some zoomin wot I was not allowed to do...



We had sooper fun wiv Grandma....but we did eventually ave to go back to Ashtead. Owever, the howlidays did ave a nice endin when we did bump into our pals the greyhounds on our walks. They is very clever dawgs and I do see em sometimes in town elpin to raise munnee for the Ceilia Cross Greyhound Trust .....

Grrr for hazzin to wear my coat..
...and this year we did buy all our Crimble Cards from his mum...woof

Ope dat sumaree was innerestin for you...

K....bai
Marlee...