Ello for you. Today dussn't be Werdless Wednesday cos I haz fings to be tellin you.
For the last few days, Lola has been itchy and then I did get itchy too and we started to haz spots appearin on us wot look like chikkin pox...
Well....not kwite like dis
More lik dis...but on a dawg
...so we is goin to the vets again (now tradin under the name of Marley's Veterinary Emporium)...and she be sayin me we might haz bacterial infekshuns wot we haz picked up from somewhere.....and she is givin mum some meddysin but she is whisperin behind her paws wot sort of meddysin it do be...we take it ome and then I is lead upstairs where I do find this in the baffroom...
Lola: tremblin an afraids
...dat's right...a barff is bein run and the sneaky vet and the sneaky mum has brort ome shampooin meddysin...now I know wot you is sayin....wot is so bad about a barff? You can pamper yorself...
No duck: no barff, thems is my terms
...and you can be usin it as a time for relaxin....
....and finkin bout what you mite like for Chrissmuss...
Dear Santa, pleez can I haz more "Me" time...
....or usin it for healin your achin bones or catchin up on essenshull tasks...
....as long as you haz room to stretch out yorself fully...
Bigger barff tub needed dad...
...well. I arsk you, is dis wot the cruel reality do be like?....
abandoned in knee-high warm water...
I say nuffing but I iz eyeballin you...
....well I tell you it do be a trauma and the RSPCA do ave been notified and I haz made my disgust evident...
Pleez adress all future remarks to my lawyer...
....and Lola be no more pleezed than me....
I may haz no brane but I kno wot I do not like...
...basically no dawg like a barff...
....except mebbe sum pups wot do not yet kno better...
...you will lern my young friends
....and dussnt fink that it do get any better just because you haz provided me wiv complimentary towels afterwards...
*composes peemail to ratemyspa.com*
...I shall be usin yore clean floor to dry myselfs...
...and Lola be usin yore freshly painted walls and doors...
...and then as if fings do not be bad enuff, the barff did not werk and we haz to ave a second go...but we still be itchy and lickin our paws. We did phone the vet (i basically haz red phone hotline on my desk) and she did say me that it mite be Harvest Mites wot we might haz picked up on our walk...
....but when we did go and see her again she did say me it was not and is probbly bacterial infeksun wot ave been picked up from sumwhere and we might haz more tabblits to take...
...is enuff to make a dog take to his bed.
Marlee....woof.
Thursday, 8 December 2011
My pal @wildpaw on twitter do run a nice advent calendar for doggie peeple each year and she did arsk me to write sumfink innit agane this year so I dunnit. She ave gived me kind permishun to reprodoose it ere....but I do also say for you to go and visit the collander yorself and you can find it here ADVENT COLLANDER and you do see me in 5 December...
Ello for you an appy Chrismuss for you an yore familee. It do be me, Marley, again. Larst Chrissmuss I was talking to you about a doggie called Scampie who was livin at the Bath Cats & Dogs Home and was avin trubble finding a furever ome. Poor old Scampie do still be there and we is still tryin to elp him out. You can see some informations about Scampie here
This year, my pals in Bath and me does also be askin you if you could be makin a appy furever ome for a young lady…*blushin*… who do be called Maggie. You can be seein Maggie ere on the websites
Our writer today, Marley
I fink we can all agree that Maggie do be quite the beauty…(way out of my leeg *sigh*)…and my pal Janine at the ome do say she does be appy to gib you kisses and is waggin her tails all the time…Janine also say me that in the offis, and in a ome environment, she is the friendliest cutest fing, always a big smile on her face and very playful….As you can see from her pishures tummy rubbins are a favrit….
Beautiful Maggie who needs a home
So wot ome she need? Eh? Well these is the fings wot Janine say me do be best…
no young children, no dogs, no small animals or cats. Maggie do be a bit unsure bowt uvver dogs and is barkin at em…
somewun around most of the day.
Very, very secure ome and gardin -Fort Knox or similar would be good cos Maggie like to do escaping. Mebbe a flat would be good cos then when she go out for doin her bizniss she be on a lead and not be gallopin away..
somewun to continue her training – she ave no recall and is strong on da lead and needs to continue her socialisayshun. If they live close then she can work for free with the BCDH behaviour team even after bein adopted.
A eggsperienced dog owner who won’t be fazed by any of this, preferablee experienced wiv terriers/patterdales.
Duz you ave room in your eart for Maggie? I ope so. I is desperate for her to ave a furever ome and I do offer one hundred pownds of my own Chrissmuss money to meet vet and food bills for anyone who do take her and love her like my pawsons do love me.
Now that I am allowed out again we is tryin some walks but I duz only be allowed to do short uns until Dr Simon ave checked me out one more time. So....we decide on Satday that we would ave a little bimble up in da woods behind the ouse where we do go all the time...
I may ave dodgy eart but i too quick for you
.....and the sun was shinin and the leevs was on the ground makin everywhere very Autumnal and i was appy trundlin along sniffin everywhere and mindin my own biziness and not finkin bowt too much...when just then nature decide to surprise us wiv some magic trees...
Magic trees emittin lite
....and we stop and look at the magic trees cos we fort they might be alive or on the march like the woods in Lord of the Rings....
yup, sunshines ere too
....and we did go into the field where the farmer be normally ploughin and fings and the sun was shinin there too and everywun was takin off their coats and talkin bowt ow ot it was for November...but these fings is beyond the forts of Farmer Marley....
....as i was too bizee checkin out my crops to see if they was gonna grow into sumfing nice for makin bread wiv (wot you can use to make bacon sammidges...dont menshun it....is all part of the serviss)...it was a very nice walk and we did enjoy avin the sun on our backs for alf hour.....we enjoyed it so much that we did decide to go out again on Sunday....but on Sunday the ole werld was covered in fog! Huh? Where did our sun go?
Wait for me so I dussnt get lost in the fogs
....but we decided to drive to Headley Heath and see many of our old pals who do go walkin there....but it was a funny mornin and the landscape was spookly....
Spookly trees
.....and Lola was so spooked that when we did meet Rosie, anuvver border terrier, she did fink she was a ghost and did put the bitey on her. Red faces all round. Lola dusssnt be doin that normally and speshully not to sweet girl Rosie who liked avin belly rubs from dad. I fink you notiss by now that there do be no pishures of Rosie cos we did be too embarassed to take any...and Rosie did go back to her car limpin a bit...uh oh....we do say sorry again to er for wot Lola dun...
Ghostly meadows: scene of da crimes
....eventually the sun did poke fru a bit and I was able to climb a large hill to survey my lands from the top....
King of All He Survey...
....so appy was nature wiv me that it did shine a eavenly light on me from above...(I do be angel compared wiv Lola of corse)......
*choirs of angels sing*
...Wot you mean you dussnt fink it be me?....Look ere I am a bit biggified....
Baved in eavenly glow....
...and dussnt be takin no notiss of dad who say he fink it was lights from a poleece elicopter lookin for me an Lola....
....I makes my getaway just in case.....and just to prove that nature do be bountiful in all ways this weekend we ad some duck for our dinner cos Willium dint be eatin all of his porshun....
Cannot old pose for long Mr Fotograffer...
.....wow, it sure was tasty and all the walkin and trottin and eatin had fairly done me in but I fink was good in long run for my recuperayshun....
CSI Ashtead: case of the severed leg
...and at last we do be able to report that Lola has been able to rejoin the rest of the familee from her hairy wilderness...yup, she ave been to the groomers and has had her fur stripped again...she do not look like Groucho Marx/Chewbacca anymore...
Trorma over....
...and no groomers were killed in the makin of this dog......which frankly do be a miracle...
Is me! Honest!
Pursonally, I fink she ave chaned her appearance to ide from Rosie's peeple wot is bound to be lookin for her high and low for crimes against soshubillity.....
Woof...Marley...x
I haz to introdoose you to my new best pal....you know im as the Cardiganologist....his coleegs kno him as Simon Dennis BVetMed MVM CertVC DipECVIM-CA (Cardiology) MRCVS, European Veterinary Specialist in Small Animal Cardiology.....but I do just be callin him Simun cos the rest of it do be too difficult to pronownse...
Chekkin for problims
...he was doin my check-up after my op and eart problems....and I kno he ave all dem letters after his name but I dunno wot he expect to find out this way...
No access to the heart this way...
...he did say me he was appy wiv da ways fings was goin and the flooids did be gone from my lungs. He now ave me on free tabblits... Prilactone, Furosemide and Hypercard...appawrently they is meddysins, even if they do sound like the names of the new generayshun of Ninja Turtles. They duz be elipn me and in a bit I duz ave some more checks to see if they is werkin. I know I duz be feelin much better and I be in good ands at NDSR where all the vets and nurses and other staff is very kind and be lookin after my like royaltee. I say ello for them...
You is probbly now finkin that all is well in my werld. Well, I got up dis mornin to find this in the kitchen...
Eeek!
....I spect that pishure will ave given Simon a eart attack of his own to deal wiv...well he dussn't ave to worry, its only a nommylishuss chew sent to me by my good pal @henryandfriends...Henry did write me to say "this wun dus av all nachrul ingreedeeunts an dus be low in fat an hy in fyba an elps kleen teefs aswel an it dus be wun undrid persent vejjetareeyun aswel. i dint no them fings but that wos wot it say on th boks they wos in in th pet shop an i did ryt them al down so yoo wud no".
No.1 chum...
So, Simon, I fink that is Ok and dussnt be doin no arm to my ticker. I am gonna eat it later, but not in one go...
Lunch...
Oh yes...and before I go...I just also menshun that dad did show me this article wot he saw in a magazeen when he was waitin for me at NDSR....pleez click the pishure to biggify it if you needs to read it...
We are Marley and Lola and Clapton: Marley went OTRB in December 2012 but was the founder of the Border Terrier Posse on Twitter. Lola and Clapton are two Border Terriers who live in Ashtead in Surrey . Lola is a real doggie who comes from Cidermill Farm in Newdigate, Surrey. Clapton is a mo-hair border terrier who came from the internet.
