Seriously, dat not funny. He does NOT look like a lion! He look very unhappy.
PC Marley....woof
Tuesday, 16 March 2010
Oh dear
Larst week we did do a bloggie about strippin terriers. Some humans was not listenin ard enough. We just had this shockin picture from ower friend Ollie from twitter.
Seriously, dat not funny. He does NOT look like a lion! He look very unhappy.
PC Marley....woof
Seriously, dat not funny. He does NOT look like a lion! He look very unhappy.
PC Marley....woof
Tuesday, 9 March 2010
Golly Gosh, I got's an Oscar
Ello for you. Cam down, I was juss jokin bout gettin a Oscar. However, today, I duzz be blushin again cos one of my chums as givin me an Lola another award for our little blog. This time it does be the Ola Kala Furry Friend Award and we did gets it from our freind Dolly, who we knows from Twitter. She do ave a excellent blog also
Dolly ave said for me that the Ola Kala award is given to furry friends that do or have done things to help make the world a better place. Ola Kala mean's "everything's good" in Greek. And for this award the first thing you do is write about three things you do to make the world a better place. They don't have to be really big things, which is elpful for me an Lola who do not do anyfing big nivver.
The first thing I tell you is that we do try and bring love and comfort for ower familee an also to elp other animals wot we do know whenever we can. This is not summfink that we do expect a award for mind you. We duzz it cos we love them. I kno Willium do like avin his face licked in the mornin cos it do save him havin to wash it. I know mummy do love takin me for walks wiv her frends cos then she can talk bout fings wot ladies like. I kno that daddy do love it when we sit on his lap together so he can't see the telly. Today we also send ealin thoughts to our friend Riley (@ri-guy) cos he do be poorly and avin trubble wiv a tumour in is eye. Ello for you Riley, we ope you get better soon.
The second phing we do for elpin the world, is that we are elpin dad to raise munny for doin the London marafon in April. He is tryin to raise £2,000 for the Dogs Trust and so far he has got £1,990. Wow. We ave elped him wiv dat. The munny will elp dogs who do not have a forever home to find one. Can you elp too? You can do it ere.
The third thing we do for makin the world better is to always say nice phings for everyone. This do be simple like "ello for you" or "ow is you doin today" when we do see our friends and also we do remember to talk with new people and animals and try and spread kindness and goodness. We is tryin to connect all the border terriers on twitter and so far we ave done 55 dogs and their hoomans and we is awlays very glad when we see them meetin each other. Ower list of BTs and related staff is ere . This might not seems important for you if you is not a BT but is elpful for us cos we do talk and share advice but also appy phings when they do appen.
The seond phing we ave to do is pass this award on to ower friends who also do deserve it. This do be very 'ard cos there is so many of them and they is always doin nice phings for peeple. That is why we makes frends with them. Anyway, as ower paws are tied on this, we do give the award also for:
Riley - this is not because he is poorly but because he is such a friendly dog. Here he is...
Jazzy da Cat - she is not very good at hidin her goodness behind a facade of cheekiness and norty behaviours. She do look like this (devil horns not pictured)
Kolo Martin - he is just startin his blog so that his baboon HUGS HUGS HUGS can reach even more people
Arthur Brandon - becos he is smilin all the time even tho he support Burnley. Come on you Claret & Blues!
Finally, I give the award for Da Shibberin Cheetos - twitters coolest animal band cos they is helpin raise money at the #pawpawtys. They is Da Shibbering Cheetos features @mattiedog as lead singer and band leader, @trailerparkdogs on drums and keyboards and @brutusthedane on bass guitar. The Cheetoettes are @MissBusyBiz and @no_crybaby_dogs who are assisted by @Niqqi. Our head roadie and all around keep us in line dude is @tigerthepup who is assisted by intern roadie @thebrindledog. Shibbering Cheetos is managed by @hankthedoggy and protected by sekurity dog Winston of @PushUpsnPaws.
I fink that do be a fittin end to the award season....
Marley Bigelow.....woof
Dolly ave said for me that the Ola Kala award is given to furry friends that do or have done things to help make the world a better place. Ola Kala mean's "everything's good" in Greek. And for this award the first thing you do is write about three things you do to make the world a better place. They don't have to be really big things, which is elpful for me an Lola who do not do anyfing big nivver.
The first thing I tell you is that we do try and bring love and comfort for ower familee an also to elp other animals wot we do know whenever we can. This is not summfink that we do expect a award for mind you. We duzz it cos we love them. I kno Willium do like avin his face licked in the mornin cos it do save him havin to wash it. I know mummy do love takin me for walks wiv her frends cos then she can talk bout fings wot ladies like. I kno that daddy do love it when we sit on his lap together so he can't see the telly. Today we also send ealin thoughts to our friend Riley (@ri-guy) cos he do be poorly and avin trubble wiv a tumour in is eye. Ello for you Riley, we ope you get better soon.
The second phing we do for elpin the world, is that we are elpin dad to raise munny for doin the London marafon in April. He is tryin to raise £2,000 for the Dogs Trust and so far he has got £1,990. Wow. We ave elped him wiv dat. The munny will elp dogs who do not have a forever home to find one. Can you elp too? You can do it ere.
The third thing we do for makin the world better is to always say nice phings for everyone. This do be simple like "ello for you" or "ow is you doin today" when we do see our friends and also we do remember to talk with new people and animals and try and spread kindness and goodness. We is tryin to connect all the border terriers on twitter and so far we ave done 55 dogs and their hoomans and we is awlays very glad when we see them meetin each other. Ower list of BTs and related staff is ere . This might not seems important for you if you is not a BT but is elpful for us cos we do talk and share advice but also appy phings when they do appen.
The seond phing we ave to do is pass this award on to ower friends who also do deserve it. This do be very 'ard cos there is so many of them and they is always doin nice phings for peeple. That is why we makes frends with them. Anyway, as ower paws are tied on this, we do give the award also for:
Riley - this is not because he is poorly but because he is such a friendly dog. Here he is...
Jazzy da Cat - she is not very good at hidin her goodness behind a facade of cheekiness and norty behaviours. She do look like this (devil horns not pictured)
Kolo Martin - he is just startin his blog so that his baboon HUGS HUGS HUGS can reach even more people
Arthur Brandon - becos he is smilin all the time even tho he support Burnley. Come on you Claret & Blues!
Finally, I give the award for Da Shibberin Cheetos - twitters coolest animal band cos they is helpin raise money at the #pawpawtys. They is Da Shibbering Cheetos features @mattiedog as lead singer and band leader, @trailerparkdogs on drums and keyboards and @brutusthedane on bass guitar. The Cheetoettes are @MissBusyBiz and @no_crybaby_dogs who are assisted by @Niqqi. Our head roadie and all around keep us in line dude is @tigerthepup who is assisted by intern roadie @thebrindledog. Shibbering Cheetos is managed by @hankthedoggy and protected by sekurity dog Winston of @PushUpsnPaws.
I fink that do be a fittin end to the award season....
Marley Bigelow.....woof
Thursday, 4 March 2010
Coats
I phink that we ave been hearin a lot of talk recently bout hats and coats, wot wiv all the weather we ave been avin an that. Today, I phink I shall tell you bout ower coats with the elp of some friends of mine.
Border Terriers has a double coat, yes we do. It do ave a tough waterproof top layer and a soft undercoat for warmth. This is very sensible I phink an is more practical than....oh I don't know....say hooman skin. There are a few Borders which have either no or just a sparse undercoat. Ow sad for dem.
When the fur do get long we does look like this....
...and can be mistaken for teddy bears and ovver household pets.
It do be important to always looks after that air well. A Border should never be bathed unless in a dire emergency, which do never exist if you arsk me. The top coat is waterproof and shampoo, even the mildest, can remove the oil. Once the oil is removed, the coat will not be water resistant and will pick up dirt far more easily. Far better just to use luke warm water with no shampoo or detergent at all. Better still, does not bovver to bathe us and juss old your nose. You will phank me for dat advice I tell you.
Of course, eventually, we does ave to ave a aircut cos the ladies do expect it of us and we like to look smart an also be cool when it do get ot (this bit only outside UK of course). This we call strippin. I fink dis is very different from lots of dogs, who just brushes their coats or uses a device to cut it. This is painless and quick. Not so for us.
When the top coat is ready to strip yore dog will develop a partin down his back, and if a few hairs are grabbed, they can easily be pulled out. Remember a Border Terrier is hand stripped. Yup, the air is pulled out by the roots. This is why we has a reputation for bein tuff dogs. I give you a minnit to let dat sink in.
This doggie here, what is my good pal Lexie, is ready to be stripped even tho er coat is keepin er warm in da snow...
The best way to learn strippin is to get an experienced Border Terrier person to show you ow. Alternatively, some people duzz not bovver wiv all dat and just start grabbin and yankin at their dog. They finds that the work is ard and tiring for their ands and some stops half way fru. I phink dat Lexie can show you ow problematic this can be....
And this little man say "dont's stop dere mum!!"...
Never, never clip a Border Terrier’s coat.....cos you end up lookin like Lola...
This will leave the roots of the dead hairs behind and will affects the growth of the new hairs. The result will be a horrible tangled soft mess. Also, I am telled by hoomans "Do not use stripping knives" which can cut the hairs, these will also leave the dead roots and part of the hair behind. Lola has just been stripped for the first time, but dat was by a very experienced lady who was her breeder and knos how to deal wiv unruly children, ahem...
We might makes a fuss an it might be ard work, but Hoomans you juss have to grin and bear it. When the hoomans has finished their works, there is one half of dog in one hand and other half in the other hand. Ollie and Basil does deomnstrate ere....
In the end tho, it do be worth it. Looks how bootiful Lexie look now. Likes a supermodel....
But, I has a warnin for hoomans. This is not funny!
Next week: hats & accessorizin wiv beige.
If any of my pals has strippin stories and photos then I say for them to leave comments for us.
Marley Da Vida Loca.....woof
Border Terriers has a double coat, yes we do. It do ave a tough waterproof top layer and a soft undercoat for warmth. This is very sensible I phink an is more practical than....oh I don't know....say hooman skin. There are a few Borders which have either no or just a sparse undercoat. Ow sad for dem.
When the fur do get long we does look like this....
...and can be mistaken for teddy bears and ovver household pets.
It do be important to always looks after that air well. A Border should never be bathed unless in a dire emergency, which do never exist if you arsk me. The top coat is waterproof and shampoo, even the mildest, can remove the oil. Once the oil is removed, the coat will not be water resistant and will pick up dirt far more easily. Far better just to use luke warm water with no shampoo or detergent at all. Better still, does not bovver to bathe us and juss old your nose. You will phank me for dat advice I tell you.
Of course, eventually, we does ave to ave a aircut cos the ladies do expect it of us and we like to look smart an also be cool when it do get ot (this bit only outside UK of course). This we call strippin. I fink dis is very different from lots of dogs, who just brushes their coats or uses a device to cut it. This is painless and quick. Not so for us.
When the top coat is ready to strip yore dog will develop a partin down his back, and if a few hairs are grabbed, they can easily be pulled out. Remember a Border Terrier is hand stripped. Yup, the air is pulled out by the roots. This is why we has a reputation for bein tuff dogs. I give you a minnit to let dat sink in.
This doggie here, what is my good pal Lexie, is ready to be stripped even tho er coat is keepin er warm in da snow...
The best way to learn strippin is to get an experienced Border Terrier person to show you ow. Alternatively, some people duzz not bovver wiv all dat and just start grabbin and yankin at their dog. They finds that the work is ard and tiring for their ands and some stops half way fru. I phink dat Lexie can show you ow problematic this can be....
And this little man say "dont's stop dere mum!!"...
Never, never clip a Border Terrier’s coat.....cos you end up lookin like Lola...
This will leave the roots of the dead hairs behind and will affects the growth of the new hairs. The result will be a horrible tangled soft mess. Also, I am telled by hoomans "Do not use stripping knives" which can cut the hairs, these will also leave the dead roots and part of the hair behind. Lola has just been stripped for the first time, but dat was by a very experienced lady who was her breeder and knos how to deal wiv unruly children, ahem...
We might makes a fuss an it might be ard work, but Hoomans you juss have to grin and bear it. When the hoomans has finished their works, there is one half of dog in one hand and other half in the other hand. Ollie and Basil does deomnstrate ere....
In the end tho, it do be worth it. Looks how bootiful Lexie look now. Likes a supermodel....
But, I has a warnin for hoomans. This is not funny!
Next week: hats & accessorizin wiv beige.
If any of my pals has strippin stories and photos then I say for them to leave comments for us.
Marley Da Vida Loca.....woof
Tuesday, 2 March 2010
Friday, 26 February 2010
This one's for Sid
I was opin to do a blog this week about my oliday at the farm but we is avin some issues wiv de pictures and so I phink I do that one nex week.
This week I am doin a blog specially for my friend Sid, who is a catahoula who lives in Chicago in the USA. Despite his name, Sid is a dog and not a hoola hoopin cat. We talks quite often and we is alway comparin notes on where we lives. I live in a small villij in England and Sid lives a in a great big city on the ovver side of a great big sea. The other week I showed Sid some pictures of Headley Heath where I do like to go walkin. He was very excitd to see it and so today I toook dad an Lola up there for a walk and we ave done some videos and some piktures of it.
We always starts our walk on the top path. Ere it is, wiv me on it..
Then we go to the "post" office to do our pee-mail...
Juss after this, there is a rilly steep path and you ave to use your brakes a bit. Lola will demonstrate for you....
When we get to the fork in the road, we waits for Dad an e telled us which way to go...
From the top of the hill, you can see the ovver side and kno which way to go....but also how far it is for our little legs...
Then we does walk down a bit an up a bit and we gets to a flat bit. In summer there is green stuff but in winter it do be a bit brown...but we can see where we are goin..
But, ow to get down? Well, ere it is...
We ave to eventually go up the hill, but the sun was out and Lola did stop and wait for me
At the top of the hill, is very confusin and we needs a map..
And the walk goes on an a dog's work is never done...
...but every now and agin we get a nice treat...
...and we can stop and ave a drink in the troughs wot they leave out for the cows what live on the heath...
This is what they look like....we didn't se im today but we ave met him on other days. He not as scary as e look...
...but we ave to be careful cos in places it do get muddy...
...and this week there was a pond wot was not ere before...
At the end, Dad keeps is eye on us cos is easy to lose in the undergrowf
...and every walk ends up back at the car park...
We had a really good walk and I ope that Sid enjoys seein bout life ere in the country. Wooofs for you Sid.
Marley in da country....x
This week I am doin a blog specially for my friend Sid, who is a catahoula who lives in Chicago in the USA. Despite his name, Sid is a dog and not a hoola hoopin cat. We talks quite often and we is alway comparin notes on where we lives. I live in a small villij in England and Sid lives a in a great big city on the ovver side of a great big sea. The other week I showed Sid some pictures of Headley Heath where I do like to go walkin. He was very excitd to see it and so today I toook dad an Lola up there for a walk and we ave done some videos and some piktures of it.
We always starts our walk on the top path. Ere it is, wiv me on it..
Then we go to the "post" office to do our pee-mail...
Juss after this, there is a rilly steep path and you ave to use your brakes a bit. Lola will demonstrate for you....
When we get to the fork in the road, we waits for Dad an e telled us which way to go...
From the top of the hill, you can see the ovver side and kno which way to go....but also how far it is for our little legs...
Then we does walk down a bit an up a bit and we gets to a flat bit. In summer there is green stuff but in winter it do be a bit brown...but we can see where we are goin..
But, ow to get down? Well, ere it is...
We ave to eventually go up the hill, but the sun was out and Lola did stop and wait for me
At the top of the hill, is very confusin and we needs a map..
And the walk goes on an a dog's work is never done...
...but every now and agin we get a nice treat...
...and we can stop and ave a drink in the troughs wot they leave out for the cows what live on the heath...
This is what they look like....we didn't se im today but we ave met him on other days. He not as scary as e look...
...but we ave to be careful cos in places it do get muddy...
...and this week there was a pond wot was not ere before...
At the end, Dad keeps is eye on us cos is easy to lose in the undergrowf
...and every walk ends up back at the car park...
We had a really good walk and I ope that Sid enjoys seein bout life ere in the country. Wooofs for you Sid.
Marley in da country....x
Tuesday, 9 February 2010
Recognisshun
I'd like to thank my parents, the director, my agent and my PR and....oh, hang on a sec, I am gettin ahead of myself a bit here.
We have been given an award by our great friend Lexie (who is @dogstoyevsky for those who do follow us on Twitter). It do be the Honest Scrap Award.
See how nice it is. Lexie does tell me that now I have the award I muss pass it on to ten other of my friends but not before I ave told you ten things you may not knows about me an Lola.
Here goes:
1. I am scared of the oven and when it is on I do go an hide at the bottom of the garden. This is because it do make a horrid noise and frightened me when I was a puppy.
2. I was the runt of the litter. I know, who would have thought it bein as how handsome I turned out to be. Lola was also the runt of her litter, but only cos she was a litter of one. She say she do be unique, I say her mum decided not to ave any more pups after seein her pop out.
3. Lola can plays the guitar.
4. My mummy wot I do live with is a chicken but now she ave made me take down her pikture so you ave to trust me on this one.
5. I can tell the time. 6am? Time for noms. 7pm? Time for noms. See how it works.
6. I do be the brains and Lola do be the brawn.
7. I am an effective guard dog. See, I guard Grandma's telly...
8. I am a Michelin-starred chef. See what time I do spend checkin out the finest ingredients for you..
9. I can count to 9, yessir.
10. I likes to pawty
Now that the secrets is out the bag, I must pass this award on to some of our friends. We gives it to:
1. Arthur (who is @monkeysbrother) becuase he really is the best anipal photographer that there is and always make me laugh with his stuff. You can see his blog ere
2. Nex is my baboon chum @kolo_martin. He does not have a blog but he is on twitter and is always full of fun and has HUGS HUGS HUGS for me
3. Then we have Karen Wild, who is a doggie trainer who is very very kind to me and is always happy to stop for a chat even though she is very very busy and a slebrity. She is @wildpaw on Twitter
4. We also give the award to Shawnee the German Shepherd Dog who live in America. She is always readin our blog and I do be readin hers cos it is rilly rilly funny and she ave the life we is very jealous off cos she is hikin every day.
5. I give the award to d'Artagnan Rumblepurr but really I knot know why cos he is a pest and I give him a GIANT THWOCK for his pains
6. Also I phink we give it to Shauna and Mickey and Kayloo cos we do phink they show us how to run a blog properly on Fido n Wino.
7. I give little award to my hooman friend Cyber Emma cos I kno she is lookin for a new job so I phink my recommendayshun will elp with that. Also, she is always happy to chat wiv a little dog. But....she work in IT but have no blog. What gives?
8. I phink I give a little joint award to @sirbarley and also @sadiepetunia cos they is awlays good for some Schnauzer action on twitter an I likes to talk to nice people who say kind things.
9. I think @sidthecatahoula also deserves a menshun cos I talks to him and I learn about geography cos Sid lives in Chicago and we swap stories about our omes. Chicago is very differunt from Ashtead. One day, I ope to go there for a pizza an a long oliday.
10. Finally, I say an award for Ruffles who lives in Singapore an is @scottieterror on twitter. Who could resist this?
Anyway, that do be that. Me an Lola is very honoured to ave this award from Lexie. She do the most bootiful border terrier I kno.
Academy Award Winner Marley (an Lola).... woof
We have been given an award by our great friend Lexie (who is @dogstoyevsky for those who do follow us on Twitter). It do be the Honest Scrap Award.
See how nice it is. Lexie does tell me that now I have the award I muss pass it on to ten other of my friends but not before I ave told you ten things you may not knows about me an Lola.
Here goes:
1. I am scared of the oven and when it is on I do go an hide at the bottom of the garden. This is because it do make a horrid noise and frightened me when I was a puppy.
2. I was the runt of the litter. I know, who would have thought it bein as how handsome I turned out to be. Lola was also the runt of her litter, but only cos she was a litter of one. She say she do be unique, I say her mum decided not to ave any more pups after seein her pop out.
3. Lola can plays the guitar.
4. My mummy wot I do live with is a chicken but now she ave made me take down her pikture so you ave to trust me on this one.
5. I can tell the time. 6am? Time for noms. 7pm? Time for noms. See how it works.
6. I do be the brains and Lola do be the brawn.
7. I am an effective guard dog. See, I guard Grandma's telly...
8. I am a Michelin-starred chef. See what time I do spend checkin out the finest ingredients for you..
9. I can count to 9, yessir.
10. I likes to pawty
Now that the secrets is out the bag, I must pass this award on to some of our friends. We gives it to:
1. Arthur (who is @monkeysbrother) becuase he really is the best anipal photographer that there is and always make me laugh with his stuff. You can see his blog ere
2. Nex is my baboon chum @kolo_martin. He does not have a blog but he is on twitter and is always full of fun and has HUGS HUGS HUGS for me
3. Then we have Karen Wild, who is a doggie trainer who is very very kind to me and is always happy to stop for a chat even though she is very very busy and a slebrity. She is @wildpaw on Twitter
4. We also give the award to Shawnee the German Shepherd Dog who live in America. She is always readin our blog and I do be readin hers cos it is rilly rilly funny and she ave the life we is very jealous off cos she is hikin every day.
5. I give the award to d'Artagnan Rumblepurr but really I knot know why cos he is a pest and I give him a GIANT THWOCK for his pains
6. Also I phink we give it to Shauna and Mickey and Kayloo cos we do phink they show us how to run a blog properly on Fido n Wino.
7. I give little award to my hooman friend Cyber Emma cos I kno she is lookin for a new job so I phink my recommendayshun will elp with that. Also, she is always happy to chat wiv a little dog. But....she work in IT but have no blog. What gives?
8. I phink I give a little joint award to @sirbarley and also @sadiepetunia cos they is awlays good for some Schnauzer action on twitter an I likes to talk to nice people who say kind things.
9. I think @sidthecatahoula also deserves a menshun cos I talks to him and I learn about geography cos Sid lives in Chicago and we swap stories about our omes. Chicago is very differunt from Ashtead. One day, I ope to go there for a pizza an a long oliday.
10. Finally, I say an award for Ruffles who lives in Singapore an is @scottieterror on twitter. Who could resist this?
Anyway, that do be that. Me an Lola is very honoured to ave this award from Lexie. She do the most bootiful border terrier I kno.
Academy Award Winner Marley (an Lola).... woof
Wednesday, 3 February 2010
The Art of the Wuzz
I did see the other day on the telly that a man who call himself Sun Tzu do ave a book called The Art Of War. It do be ancient lessons from long ago bout fightin and things. Well, I dussn't likes to talk about fightin except for the odd rumble wiv Lola when she do be "askin for it". However, it did remind me about the ancient text written by one of my own ancestors. This do be "The Art of the Wuzz" by Mah Lee, who was a dog wot live in China a long time ago.
No copies still exist of dis book but the wisdom ave been past down fru generayshuns of border terriers and so I tell em to you cos I know you will use them wisely.
The wuzz is the gentle ticklin of the doggy parts which makes the dog twist his head round in ecstasy and go gooey in the middle and also squirm and wriggle and other such phings.
Here is lesson one: apply the gentle pressure behind the left ear and wiggles your fingers...
..when the dog ave almost turned his head fru 180 degrees, apply same tekneek to the other ear...
When "satisfaction" has been achieved, you can apply a wuzz to bofe ears at once. The ead stays still for this one but the paws do curl up and low rumblins of plezure may be heard....
I tell you now that the wuzzes in these piktures is bein applied by William, who is Wuzz Master of the 9th Degree. It do elp to have properly trained staff for administerin the wuzz, but your own staff, pawsons, hoomans etc can gets to be eggsperts in this wivout much effort.
Now that the ears have received due attenshum, the hands can be passed round the body and the chest is rubbed wiv both hands. You may see canine grinning...
The blurry hands in that diagram show that the correct speed is bein achieved. We also quite likes it when William do say "wuzzawuzzawuzzawuzza" as he duz it.
Ere we do it for Lola. See how she concentrate..
Optional wuzzes, include the "under the chin". The wuzzer ave to be careful ere cos the wuzzee can administer involuntary lickin of the hands as a result of trance like effect of the wuzz...
...an also the "butt wuzz", which is good by the fire as Lola do demonstrate...
That really do be all there is to it, and I ope these words of law from the ancients will helps you achieve higher plane.
Marley and Mah Lee (geddit?...I'm wasted on you lot)
No copies still exist of dis book but the wisdom ave been past down fru generayshuns of border terriers and so I tell em to you cos I know you will use them wisely.
The wuzz is the gentle ticklin of the doggy parts which makes the dog twist his head round in ecstasy and go gooey in the middle and also squirm and wriggle and other such phings.
Here is lesson one: apply the gentle pressure behind the left ear and wiggles your fingers...
..when the dog ave almost turned his head fru 180 degrees, apply same tekneek to the other ear...
When "satisfaction" has been achieved, you can apply a wuzz to bofe ears at once. The ead stays still for this one but the paws do curl up and low rumblins of plezure may be heard....
I tell you now that the wuzzes in these piktures is bein applied by William, who is Wuzz Master of the 9th Degree. It do elp to have properly trained staff for administerin the wuzz, but your own staff, pawsons, hoomans etc can gets to be eggsperts in this wivout much effort.
Now that the ears have received due attenshum, the hands can be passed round the body and the chest is rubbed wiv both hands. You may see canine grinning...
The blurry hands in that diagram show that the correct speed is bein achieved. We also quite likes it when William do say "wuzzawuzzawuzzawuzza" as he duz it.
Ere we do it for Lola. See how she concentrate..
Optional wuzzes, include the "under the chin". The wuzzer ave to be careful ere cos the wuzzee can administer involuntary lickin of the hands as a result of trance like effect of the wuzz...
...an also the "butt wuzz", which is good by the fire as Lola do demonstrate...
That really do be all there is to it, and I ope these words of law from the ancients will helps you achieve higher plane.
Marley and Mah Lee (geddit?...I'm wasted on you lot)
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