Plans for June haz been suspended...

Ello for you. Ello for everywun....except for this man...



For those of you wot duz not know, this do be Mr Fabbyoh Capello, who do be the manager of the England footballs team. Hingerland is goin to play in the World Cup in Sowf Africa and Mr Capello did be announcin his squad for the tourneyment this week.

I had expected to be selected for the team fanks to avin a map which do show South Africa on it wot we could use to elp get there and also a big suitcase wot we could put the balls in. Imagine my suprise when I do spend the day by the phone waitin for a call from the Football Association and it do not come....



So called footballs expert Mr Capello haz failed to recognise my talents. We do be wonderin why. He haz found room for lumberin ellyfant impersonator Mr Emile Heskey on the plane but do fink he do neeed my silky skills on the wings or by the buffet at the big otel....



I tell him that all teems do need a few key players. First, we haz to ave a good goalie. Our keeper do be small but haz a mighty jump...



Also, we do need somewun who do be able to run up an down very farst and be avin nippin at the ankles of the ovver teams best players. In footie, we do call em full backs. Ere is owers...



I fink he mebbe do a better job than ancient Scouse refusenik, Mr Jamie Carragher, an competishun winner man from Sunderland. Nex, every team do need someone to boss the midfield and generally run the game....



He is appy to do it for a lot less moolah than modern highwaymen, Gerrard and Lampard.

But also we do be needin someone to "put his paw on the ball" and do creative fings (which i fink is just passin the ball and not silk paintin or anyfink like dat)...



I haz all these skills but Mr Capello do not ave these players after overlookin me. His squad do be made up of peeple like dis...



...which do be ow Mr Rio Ferdinand do be plannin to spend June I haz telled the press. Also, i be able to join in wiv all the usual trainin regimes at the England base...



I am very good on the ball, unlike this doggie who haz taken fings far to far...



So, Mr Capello, I fink you haz made a mistake and me and my agent we do give you dis...



I fink mebbe I shall be playin for anuvver team this summer and we do see who will be smilin when everyfing is done....



Marley Rimet......woof