Thursday, 25 March 2010

Trainin and phings

A couple of weeks ago ower good frend Karen (@wildpaw) from twitter did ask us to write a bit about dog trainin for er website. Karen is very famous dog trainin lady and elper to the stars wiv their dogs so we was very honoured to do it for er. She did also say we could put the informayshun on our site but we did say we not do this until she ave used it first. Anyway, now is time for us to put it ere but I also say for you to visit Karen's site cos there do be more there than juss my nonesense...

Ello for you. It is I, Marley.

I phink you did kno it was I, Marley. That is becos I ave been trainin you for recognisin me when I do be here. Trainin is important and that is why Karen has arsked me to tells you about it today cos some of you do be good at it but some of you duzz need some elp and I am the eggspert in the field.

Learning names
So let us go back to step 1, recognisin names. I say again for you “ello, it is I, Marley. Ow is you?” Knowin my name and knowin your own name is very important becos it can be helpful in avoidin danger. I give you example from real life. When my typist does approach the fridge in the evenin I say “Dad, you does not want that cold beer cos it will make you fats and lazy”. He recognise his name (Dad) and pick up ealfy fruit joos instead. This is good for him and save him from early middle age. He tell me that sumtimes he shout “Marley” to stop me goin in the road and getting urt when we is out walkin, but I say does he really phink I goin to step in front of a car? I is not stoopid you kno.

Repeat – and treat
Of course, the key for trainin is repetition. When dad is holdin ower dinner in the evenin he say “sit” every time before we can ave it. Lola and me always sit, cos if we dussn’t then I phink he forget what he is doin and serve up bird seed or leave ower bowls in the fridge. He is a bit slow and we ave to help him, like talkin to a baby.

We also say that rewardin wiv treats does elp with learnin. After he say “sit” for the 20th time, Dad do say “paw” and I old up my paw and he give us a nom to eat. I think that he is rewarded in his heart by givin me noms and so I let im do it after each trick or task. “Paw”, he say. Up go the paw, in go the nom. It does be simple but effective technique for hoomans cos they is unusually obsessed wiv ow they feel bout themselves.

Also, we find that we help him out by not always doin the same thing to see if he is payin attenshun. He say “lie down” and I lie down. Then he say “roll over” and I just give him the dead eye. “Roll over” he say again, and this time I sit up and give him paw. “LIE DOOOOOWWWWWNNNNN MARLEY” he say, so I do it and allow him to give me nom for spottin that his command ad not been followed to the letter. This way he get elp wiv accuracy and also a boost for his self respect.

Keeps us dogs from getting bored
Trainin is very good for stopping animals of all types from getting bored. If Dad is teachin me ow to stand on my back legs or turn round in circles then he cannot be spendin the evenin sittin on the sofa and sayin rood phings while mum watches America’s Next Top Model. It keep his mind active (trainin, not the models, ahem) and also elp wiv harmony in the house cos he is not avin to fight with mum bout wot is on telly.

You ave to be careful not to overdo trainin of course cos it can lead to tiredness and loss of patience. Yesserday me an Lola was up the woods and Dad was yellin for us to come back cos we was lookin under a bush for a squirrel. This is important work so we did ignore im. “Lola” he yell, then “Marley”. He keep this up for 10 minnits and eventually he is shouty and red in the face and his blood pressure look like it bout to burst off the top of the chart. I trot over to im and give im the “calm down” look but he was restless for the rest of the walk and did ave to ave a lie down when we got in. I tell this to you, careful ow you go about trainin cos it can be bad for your ealf if you do too much. Recognise your limits.

However, if you duzz trainin properly then then it can be rewardin for both dog and hooman. You see how happy they are if you roll over on command in front of the neighbours. It is like their eldest has graduated wiv first from Cambridge and they is about to be invited to join the golf club. Also, it is nice for people what you meet. If I sit and offer my paw to ladies we meet on our walks then we are always bein offered noms and that makes their pockets lighter and elp with finishin their walks.

If your human just isn’t getting it right
If your hooman is avin trubble trainin themselves by usin you for elp then I suggest you arsk Karen to elp wiv dat. She arsk me to do sumfink simple like “Marley, show me how Twitter work and can be applied to help solve world problems” and wivvin 5 minnits I have done a small presentayshun on it becos Karen make it all so easy peasy. The hoomans what have come with me do see how simple it can be and they takes me ome for practises followed by noms and a lie down.

All in all, me an Lola phink trainin is really really good and makes for quiet and contented staff what can be allowed to take you out in public. Give it a try, but make sures your hooman has Karen’s phone number close by.

Marley…… (offishul Dog of London 2012)

Tuesday, 16 March 2010

Oh dear

Larst week we did do a bloggie about strippin terriers. Some humans was not listenin ard enough. We just had this shockin picture from ower friend Ollie from twitter.

Seriously, dat not funny. He does NOT look like a lion! He look very unhappy.

PC Marley....woof

Tuesday, 9 March 2010

Golly Gosh, I got's an Oscar

Ello for you. Cam down, I was juss jokin bout gettin a Oscar. However, today, I duzz be blushin again cos one of my chums as givin me an Lola another award for our little blog. This time it does be the Ola Kala Furry Friend Award and we did gets it from our freind Dolly, who we knows from Twitter. She do ave a excellent blog also

Dolly ave said for me that the Ola Kala award is given to furry friends that do or have done things to help make the world a better place. Ola Kala mean's "everything's good" in Greek. And for this award the first thing you do is write about three things you do to make the world a better place. They don't have to be really big things, which is elpful for me an Lola who do not do anyfing big nivver.

The first thing I tell you is that we do try and bring love and comfort for ower familee an also to elp other animals wot we do know whenever we can. This is not summfink that we do expect a award for mind you. We duzz it cos we love them. I kno Willium do like avin his face licked in the mornin cos it do save him havin to wash it. I know mummy do love takin me for walks wiv her frends cos then she can talk bout fings wot ladies like. I kno that daddy do love it when we sit on his lap together so he can't see the telly. Today we also send ealin thoughts to our friend Riley (@ri-guy) cos he do be poorly and avin trubble wiv a tumour in is eye. Ello for you Riley, we ope you get better soon.

The second phing we do for elpin the world, is that we are elpin dad to raise munny for doin the London marafon in April. He is tryin to raise £2,000 for the Dogs Trust and so far he has got £1,990. Wow. We ave elped him wiv dat. The munny will elp dogs who do not have a forever home to find one. Can you elp too? You can do it ere.

The third thing we do for makin the world better is to always say nice phings for everyone. This do be simple like "ello for you" or "ow is you doin today" when we do see our friends and also we do remember to talk with new people and animals and try and spread kindness and goodness. We is tryin to connect all the border terriers on twitter and so far we ave done 55 dogs and their hoomans and we is awlays very glad when we see them meetin each other. Ower list of BTs and related staff is ere . This might not seems important for you if you is not a BT but is elpful for us cos we do talk and share advice but also appy phings when they do appen.

The seond phing we ave to do is pass this award on to ower friends who also do deserve it. This do be very 'ard cos there is so many of them and they is always doin nice phings for peeple. That is why we makes frends with them. Anyway, as ower paws are tied on this, we do give the award also for:

Riley - this is not because he is poorly but because he is such a friendly dog. Here he is...

Jazzy da Cat - she is not very good at hidin her goodness behind a facade of cheekiness and norty behaviours. She do look like this (devil horns not pictured)

Kolo Martin - he is just startin his blog so that his baboon HUGS HUGS HUGS can reach even more people

Arthur Brandon - becos he is smilin all the time even tho he support Burnley. Come on you Claret & Blues!

Finally, I give the award for Da Shibberin Cheetos - twitters coolest animal band cos they is helpin raise money at the #pawpawtys. They is Da Shibbering Cheetos features @mattiedog as lead singer and band leader, @trailerparkdogs on drums and keyboards and @brutusthedane on bass guitar. The Cheetoettes are @MissBusyBiz and @no_crybaby_dogs who are assisted by @Niqqi. Our head roadie and all around keep us in line dude is @tigerthepup who is assisted by intern roadie @thebrindledog. Shibbering Cheetos is managed by @hankthedoggy and protected by sekurity dog Winston of @PushUpsnPaws.

I fink that do be a fittin end to the award season....

Marley Bigelow.....woof

Thursday, 4 March 2010


I phink that we ave been hearin a lot of talk recently bout hats and coats, wot wiv all the weather we ave been avin an that. Today, I phink I shall tell you bout ower coats with the elp of some friends of mine.

Border Terriers has a double coat, yes we do. It do ave a tough waterproof top layer and a soft undercoat for warmth. This is very sensible I phink an is more practical than....oh I don't know....say hooman skin. There are a few Borders which have either no or just a sparse undercoat. Ow sad for dem.

When the fur do get long we does look like this....

...and can be mistaken for teddy bears and ovver household pets.

It do be important to always looks after that air well. A Border should never be bathed unless in a dire emergency, which do never exist if you arsk me. The top coat is waterproof and shampoo, even the mildest, can remove the oil. Once the oil is removed, the coat will not be water resistant and will pick up dirt far more easily. Far better just to use luke warm water with no shampoo or detergent at all. Better still, does not bovver to bathe us and juss old your nose. You will phank me for dat advice I tell you.

Of course, eventually, we does ave to ave a aircut cos the ladies do expect it of us and we like to look smart an also be cool when it do get ot (this bit only outside UK of course). This we call strippin. I fink dis is very different from lots of dogs, who just brushes their coats or uses a device to cut it. This is painless and quick. Not so for us.

When the top coat is ready to strip yore dog will develop a partin down his back, and if a few hairs are grabbed, they can easily be pulled out. Remember a Border Terrier is hand stripped. Yup, the air is pulled out by the roots. This is why we has a reputation for bein tuff dogs. I give you a minnit to let dat sink in.

This doggie here, what is my good pal Lexie, is ready to be stripped even tho er coat is keepin er warm in da snow...

The best way to learn strippin is to get an experienced Border Terrier person to show you ow. Alternatively, some people duzz not bovver wiv all dat and just start grabbin and yankin at their dog. They finds that the work is ard and tiring for their ands and some stops half way fru. I phink dat Lexie can show you ow problematic this can be....

And this little man say "dont's stop dere mum!!"...

Never, never clip a Border Terrier’s coat.....cos you end up lookin like Lola...

This will leave the roots of the dead hairs behind and will affects the growth of the new hairs. The result will be a horrible tangled soft mess. Also, I am telled by hoomans "Do not use stripping knives" which can cut the hairs, these will also leave the dead roots and part of the hair behind. Lola has just been stripped for the first time, but dat was by a very experienced lady who was her breeder and knos how to deal wiv unruly children, ahem...

We might makes a fuss an it might be ard work, but Hoomans you juss have to grin and bear it. When the hoomans has finished their works, there is one half of dog in one hand and other half in the other hand. Ollie and Basil does deomnstrate ere....

In the end tho, it do be worth it. Looks how bootiful Lexie look now. Likes a supermodel....

But, I has a warnin for hoomans. This is not funny!

Next week: hats & accessorizin wiv beige.

If any of my pals has strippin stories and photos then I say for them to leave comments for us.

Marley Da Vida Loca.....woof