Saturday 25 February 2012

Commershull break

Ello for you, it do be me Marley. Today, we is hazzin break for our normal policy on dis blog of not avin any advertisin of any sorts....today we duss be bringin you consoomer report on some doggie treats wot has been sent to me by my pal Dolton who be the doggie in residence at Wagg Foods who be pervayers of the finest dog food noms.

We was just in the middle of our Saturday Activitee Committee meetin ......

The chair-dog invite Lola to speak...

...when typist say door bell be ringin and we has mail....

Huh!? Where is mail?...
....oh, here be mails...

(*internet snoops, this duss not be our ome address)

.....it seem to smell familiars....


Eau d'Dolton

....so...wot is we waiting for....let's open it....





.....hmmm, wot be this.....


I'm sure it's for me....

...Lola WAAAIIIIIT!!!....... there is written instrukshuns from Dolton....


Your misshun, should you chose to accept it....

....and also quite a lot of small prints to be reading....


I has asked my lawyer to look over it later...

...so we is doin a taste testing for Wagg Foods....mebbe we should observe the usual convenshuns and only allow critics to operates incognito so as not to be rumbled by kitchen staff...


Anonnymouse restront critic...

....so ere we go wiv openin shots to establish nommyness of merchandise...


I ope pakkit haz more innit...

Feelin ungry yet..?
Piles of flavour...

....so let me ave a look up close....

*...calculatin time/distance eekwayshun...*

*...stoopid nommin face...*

Lola's stoopid nommin face...

.....tastes is so yummy we is prepared to do tricks to get at the biskits...



....but in all syentiffically controlled experiments at the Marley Institoot for Food Testin the rools ave to be observed at all times...



....grrr, floopin Lola.....

....and any suggestion that I has almost eated the whole pakkit do be entirely untroo and all incydents has been handed over to my legal advisers for furver ackshun...


Wot evvydence??

....so, avin furrowly tested the treats I is declarin em most nommy and gibbin them 5 Marley Stars and recommending em to my chums...

Exhorsted tester...

...a big fanks to Dolton and everywun at Wagg Foods. Fanks for the treats.....

Marley Bloomenthal.....woof

Sunday 19 February 2012

Oliday

Ello for you. Most of you do probably now that me an Lola did let our family ave a week off for a oliday. That do mean that we ave to go sumwhere where they can be preparing our noms and makin sure we has a comfy bed to sleep in. I did try and suggest that we be allowed to stay at ome wiv da fridge door open but appawrently there was reasons why that dussnt be allowed.

Lola did go back to the farm where we was born as we usually do for our olidays but this time Simon the Cardiganologist did say it mite be better for me if I was join sumwhere more quiets so that I dint be getting poorly from overdoin it...


I is unimpressed wiv yore latest idea...

....I dint fink much of this but then he say me I could stay wiv cardiac nurse from NDSR who be called Sarah and who do ave a playmate for me.....


Is it me? Is it? Do I be da playmate?

....it be Cody the Pug....so i say okay dokey and is packing my bags for stayin wiv Cody an his mum and Cody's human sisfur who be called Taylor...an we is soon bein the best of pals and Cody did be allowin me to share in his toys...


We is only usin Apple producs ....

....and is not saying anyfing when i do sneak up on the sofa where I duz not rilly be allowed to be.....


Usin cammoflarge to evade detekshun.....

...and is showin me ow to use the dog-flap door into his garden and accompanyin me on my walks in his field every day....all in all he do be the bestess pal a holiday dog could ave and I also do whisper so that Simon do not hear me that i did be so appy at Cody's ouse that I was doin play bowin and tussling and trying to make him play....wot be a miracle for lazy dog wiv iffy ticker...

Meanwhile certain pawsons was enjoin they times in the snow...even tho it was -25 degrees when they did arrive and it was essenshull to keep movin fast to keep warm....and also stopping reggly to ave hot chokklits in the cafes on da slopes.....but typest did say me the cafes was dangruss cos snow-cat was lurking there pouncing on unusupectin skiers...

Ha! Sno-cat surprise attak....

Sno-cat say "victim secured"...

...so I did ave to send out messijs to pals in da resort that sno-cat be musslin in on the family...and my pal Sno-dog do gib me a hand....



....and eventualee he and his pals did catch up wiv dad and his pals in a complete white-out half way down the mowntin...



...and we also did get our pal Henry to send werds to his bear friends to keep eye out for sno-cat incurshuns into restronts...

Sno-cat observayshun post....

...and all dat hard werk ave put sno-cat out where he belong...


Sno-cat: realise price of lap stealin....

....which did allow the pawsons to be getting on wiv their holiday....(*psst...dad only allowed to take viddyoh on the easy slopes when he wasn't goin 1,000 mph)...





....all the elp from my pals did elp my peace of mind an i was able to relax and enjoy my naps....and on Saturday I did ave a nice surprise when Simon the Cardiganologist did come round to ave some cuddles and Marley-time check up on me....

(*reconstrukshun of akshull events...)


....but after a week of bein spoiled and waited on and an foot a tuff seperayshun from everywun they did pick me an Lola up yesterday and be back at one where I duss belong...


Smell: as rekwired

Comfy: verified to spec

....so I am appy to report a very apply holiday for all...


Brrrrrrrr

.....and all do be rite wiv da werld....


Oliday mustash: luxurious...

....and we do send Marley-luv to Sarah an Cody an Taylor and say big fanks for looking after me so well. Is pawsome to kno such good peeple....


Marley....woof

Wednesday 8 February 2012

More soshul issues - jobs

Ello for you. As so many of you did say me nice fings bout last week's blog bout the Euro Zone the Bone Zone I am bringin you anuvver dose of soshul issyoos. This week be be talkin bout unemployments...that be when you haz no job. This is a big risk for you in dese arsh eccynommic climates and I haz advice for you...

It be hard to stand out in today's crowded market place...


Pick me! Pick me!

...and you dusssnt want to be gibbin your employer any reasons for finkin you do be sooperfloouss...


Yakkin by da water fountane....

...or is not pullin your weight...



..or is mebbe takin more than you is givin...

Princess, haz you been nommin the pens from the stationery cubbard agane?

......it be tuff in this werld and you will be findin yourself followin Norman Tebbit's advcie and takin to your bike lookin for werks..



...you will be facin competishuns from all sorts of peeple..

Duz you mind? Is my turn next....


....you is anonymuss to major cappytalists.......


I is a name not a number....

...and your pawsome style be no use to you's on the streets my friend...

Cool....redundant..

....and you mite finds yourself all washed up...


Future look bleek....

...and you will find that you haz to consider jobs you dussnt want to be doin....

Weather Dog not appy in his werk

...or where you skillz be in need of updatin...

Is not your colour?
Pleez check....was all inclooded in quote...

...or where you mite be pushed out of your comfort zone...

Window cleaner dog would ave preferred ladder....

...leadin to a lack of moteevayshun...

Ceased to gib a damn 2009....

....and fallin to da back of da queue...

Urry up....is burstin....

...and finkin the unfinkable...

I ope mom never see this....

So my pals....dust down dat CV (resoomay for you American pals)...


Attended Harvard: 2002-2003

...and attend to your dooties...

Back at 7.30 deer....

Ere endeth the lesson....

Er....not fit for werk due to eart defect..

Marley....woof