Ello for you. I ope you did ave a nice day on Saturday. I bet you dint kno it was St Marley's Day! That's right, is a speshul day of the year dedictaed to St Marley, the patron saint of nappin. "HANG ON!" i hear sum of you sayin, "is not 23 April St George's Day, patron saint on Englund?" I do say for you that it used to be but he has been demoted on account of only bein responsible for killin some weedy dragon....
So-called "saint" and weedy dragon...
I dussnt fink that lady do be impressed wiv dat "Saint" George! Oh no, not when she hear about my recent adventures. I was out walkin wiv mum the other day when we did come across a adder snake on the path in the woods. Adders is only poisynouse snake in the whole of the UK and this one was avin a sunbathe right across where I do be walkin...
Actual snake ....probbly
He was very fiersome lookin and was ungry and ready to eat anyones wot be comin along finkin it was a nice sunny day and safe in leafy Surrey....
Deadly "Surrey adder" chokin a victim
....but he run off into the trees when he see me comin. I gib him the eye and flash him my teef and he is quickly scurryin off into the trees never to be seen again.....I decided to put up warnin sign and go off and look for any evvydence of more snakes...
....we scoured the countryside and did end up in the big field......
Snake hunters...
.....and it was not long before we come across this.....
Adder HQ
YIKES!! Its a snake hotel wot the local farmer did build in his field for keepin snakes in. Dad wanted to lift up the lid and ave a look but mum say "NO" and we go back to Marley Towers to ave a fink about it....
I am restin....not hidin.....restin
Of corse, I was all for raidin that otel and gibbin them snakes what for..but others do be advisin a less confruntayshunul approach....Followin day we decide we haz to go out to ave another walk. I am sayin that I was afraid of that snakes and his teef quite tired from walk the day before but dad is sayin me not to be layzee and to get a move on....so I dellygate Lola to haz a look out the window for any snaky introoders...wot might be a danger to others....
Keepin wotch over Snake Alley...
..and I set forth armed wiv only my teef to do battle wiv wotever do come our way.....in no way friten of seein more snakes....just usin proper corshun...
A brave dog stalkin in the jungle
...and I am pretty sure that there do be no more snakes....and I tell dad this....but he say me there might be cos that snake hotel look quite big....so I decide I haz to get off the ground quick sharp a better vantage point for keepin look out....
Keepin a look out....not hidin....lookin
....and we is in luck cos Mr Snake and his pals has been well and trooly scared off by me, Marley, Scourge of Snakes...so we run away go bak ome to hide from the snakes elp Willium wiv his omework....
Doin omewerk....chemistree or sumfing
Followin day, we did go to Goring by the sea in Sussex and I wonder if i could escape country by swimmin to France....there be any snakes at sea...
...and as we walk down the beach I did fink about escapin by surfboard to Norway tryin a new sport....
Lifeboat sports ekwipment
All that walkin was ard werk in the sun so we decided to stop into the Bluebird Cafe to see the other doggies and to tell em about I great feats of bravery and strengff
Gibbin the news....not hidin...news
Larry the Lurcher was there and he was totally floored by my story...
Larry gets the news....
....and now I am keepin well of the ground at all times permanintly employed by Surrey for keepin wotch over the county ....
Guardin....not hidin....guardin
So, every year now in honner of my runnin off like a skeerdy cat slayin the Surrey Serpent , 23 April is St Marley's Day. There is nommin and nappin for all ...
Ello for you. You kno dat feeling you get when you do not kno wot the day old in store and you is wonderin if you gonna get to do anyfing interestin?...
A dog contemplates his skedyool
well, that was me on Saterdee.......but then dad remind us that we is goin to see Rocky and Islay who do be my dad and my sisfur wot do live nearby. You might remeber we did see em before and that story do be ere if you dint see it....we were very excited to be doin that and we was waitin impayshuntly in the car for the humans to get their butts into gear...
Urry up, is impawtant bizness to attend to
...we is goin to meet them in a place called Hambledon wot be a villej near to where we is all livin. Is such an impawtant villej that they did recently win a prize....
...and is hazzin they own website....we was very excited to see my dad Rocky when we got there.....he come beetlin straight up .....
Ello dad....
...and Katie was soon doin wot she do best....dolin out the noms.....
Who wants one?
....but of course Issie (wot we do call Islay) and Lola was soon at they old tricks and puttin the bitey on each ovver as tho each was the other's last meal....
Shall I referee?
You sit in that corner Lola pleez....
We was soon on the way and enjoyin the countryside and the nice wevvers...
...and runnin up the Offishul Terrier Trenches.....and of corse we was eadin for the pub....
...where they haz signs wot do be ritted in langwidge a dog do understand....
We haz been to this pub afore and we did show you some pics from inside then. You can be seein em here....and also I fink you can see the skeery coincidence of wot we was reportin at the end of that blog....and I was able to use cammoflarge of the chairs to sneak up on some snaks....
Haz you dropped chips?
.....after our lunch we did pose for offishul expedisshun foto...
Marlee, Lola, Issie, Rocky
....but the rest had only swerved to make the gurls a bit frisky again and they was at each other as soon as we gets back into the woods...wiv yours truly breakin it up again...
..but we was still enjoyin the sun and Issie did try and fly ome using her new ear attachmints...
*approachin take-off speed*
...but she did put in so much efforts that she did ave to lie down for a nap....
This sand is comfy...
Wot? I is nappin.....
Pffft....girls.....they is rubbish....
Rockee an Marlee doin manly stuff...
We had a great day and I was very happy to spend some time wiv my famlee again. I do say ello for them and a speshul woof for Christian an Katie who was very kind to us all day....
The DogFather
Marlee, Son of Rockee......woof
p.s We haz a new feature and we is callin it "short viddyoh highlights of our blog for thems wot be too layzee to read it"....you like? Click Here
I fink you wot do kno me do kno that I am always vigilant about guardin our ouse and makin sure there is no critters and varmints comin into the garden.....
Eternil vijjylance is price of...er...sumfing
....and dad say me I gotta be on speshul dooty this week and keepin eyes peeled and radar tooned to squirrel cos he did see evidence that sum introoders has beens ettin up shop in our villej....
House of ill repute
....but it is quite ard to be doin round-the-clock observayshuns when the sun do be shinin and the birds do be singin....
sekurity ammock: weapons not pictured
always maintain "ready" posture
Dad do say me I migh be regrettin it if I don't be keepin a close eye on all avenues of ingress and egress to Sector 4 particulalry......
Sector 4: probbly clear
.......but I am pritty conffydent that we would be aware of introoders due to complex system of alarms.....
testin system parammyters
......and kitchen do in any case be fitted wiv moshun-sensin devices wot do prevent unauthorised access too peeple wot do not ave the passwerds......
Behind me? Is not a pantomime u kno...
.....and all passwerds is kept safe and secure on my poota wot we do ave high up on the kitchen table.....
*tippety tappety*
.....and I haz been fru IT cataastrofee plannin only last week so is no way anyone be comin into my ouse and enjoyin my bed like some gharstly eppysode from Goldilocks and the Free Bears....
Who been sleepin in my bed? Only Marlee
......and dussnt even be finkin of jokin bout anyone eatin my noms......
*capshun deleted by censor*
......oh......it seem that praps not all sytems has been fully operayshunull according to instrukshun manual.....
A renactment from my brane...
....so, there is only one fing for it if the brane do not be werkin.....and that do be to call for the mussels division of sector command.....
Lola be puttin the bitey on squirrel
......and that seemed to ave cleared up the problim for now......
pests: controlled
....which do leev me wiv time to get back to a detailed exammynayshun of all aspects of sekurity to ensure no further accidents.....
Plannin & Security Committee: in sesshun
Please be careful out there.......Colonel Marley.......woof x
ps: i do say for all my followers that me an Lola is extra appy if you is leavin comments for us and meowin and woofin for others to read an enjoy. Fanks. You can do that by clikkin "comments" linky at end of each post.
Alright, alright I is ere....phew, blimey.....wot is up wiv you lot? Can't a dog take a little oliday from bloggin wivout peeple goin crazee? Relax, I do be bloggin agane......*whispers*..altho personally I do blame typist who has been "travellin" and "werkin" ard or so he say and has been neglectin his real dooties....
No typist = no activitee
So...we was gettin a bit bored but then one of our pals from twitter (Ted who do be at @realjoannek) did say me I could be member of #destructogang wot is a club for doggies wot do be destroyin fings wiv they teef. I say him I dussn't do much destroyin but he say me my evil glare might be enuff to destroy skwirrel on its own....
*glare intensitee 101%*
...and guess wot? I is now a member of #destructogang and ere is my badge from Ted and @misspishposh......
Huh? There is more than one badge in the pakkit?
oh, phooey....Lola been invited in too.....
I haz eated mum's filofax....TWICE!!
...but then again she do more destructin than I do. In fact, she is quite parshull to eating anyfing wot do be left out when humans is goin out and we is locked in the kitchen. I eats nuffing but food....
Of corse, she try and suggest is a number of good reasons why fings has broken and it wazzunt her wot dunnit...
...and if that do not werk she is tryin to rationalise her akshuns and is turnin blanme back on the pawsons....
Anyway, our pals is rilly showin me ow to be a proper member of #destructogang....
I go for Gold Membership
...hmmm, Isaac has taken fings to logical conclooshen and is chewin his membership badge while Ted look on and shout encurryjmint.....
Circumstanshull evvydence only
....and @eddietheborder do be baskin in his triumff.....
Hmmm....now wot did this used to be?
...and is presentin his werk well for the judges...and Murfee (@no1border) is kwite proud of his mornin's efforts...
Wot? I don't do cleanin up....
and Reggie (@ChloesQuietRiot) has put his skillz to more productiv use and has disembowled his trainin rodent...
I is king, you is not king
....and Ollie (@thegobros) has been doin so much outreach werk for #destructogang that he has falled asleep on the job...
eatin is tirin
But....is a sunny day....and.....well....a dog gotta get his napz in.....
Snoozin....not destroyin
.....but typist say me there is a skwirrel in the garden so....*whooooooosh*......
...I see you later...and I am leevin #destructogang clubouse in capable paws of Wylie (bruvver to @zoetheborder)....
We are Marley and Lola and Clapton: Marley went OTRB in December 2012 but was the founder of the Border Terrier Posse on Twitter. Lola and Clapton are two Border Terriers who live in Ashtead in Surrey . Lola is a real doggie who comes from Cidermill Farm in Newdigate, Surrey. Clapton is a mo-hair border terrier who came from the internet.
