Tuesday, 13 April 2010

At the Hustins

Ello for you. It do be I, Marley, offishul candidate for Parleyment.

As you haz prolly seen if you do live in England or Scotland or Wales or ovver bits near there, Mr Brown (who is Prime Minister) has called an elekshun...



....rilly, I dint kno this did mean actually callin the elekshun on the phone to talk but apparently that is wot he has done (wiv elp from his wife).

I haz decided to makes myself a candidate for parleyment so as to propply represent the views of animals. Today do see the lornch of my offishul mannyfesto. It do be ere now and deals with the issues of the day wot do be on your minds.

1. Econnymee - yuo haz seen that the peeple at the bank of Hingland has been helpin the ecnomymee by a policy of "quantitative easing". I dussn't really know what that is but I has taken my best guess and I say we shall continue wiv dat policy.....and we shall be authorisin the printin of bones for everyone...



2. Immigrayshun - it seem that all the welffy people in this country do not wants to share their good fortune and appiness wiv peeepl less fortunate than theyselves from other parts of the world, even if they do be poor and mizerable. We ashamed of dis, but we is drawin a line at squirrels. We is withdrawin their visas and permishuns to stay ere immediately....



...Squirrels: you got your places and we got ours.

3. Transport - we is demandin that we be allowed in your planes, tranes and automobiles. Is not fair we have to be lefts behind when you go on oliday or out for the day or that we haz to travel in fird rate style. From now on, we travellin up front wiv you...



4. Crimes - wot? It duss not be me that brokes into the fridge and stoled the ham. We is tuff on crimes and tuff on the causes of crimes....



...and rilly if you gets cort then my pal Lexie is gonna give you dis look ...and no one wants that duz they?...



5. The Familee - we finks dat familee is rilly important. You kno that they say a familee is for lifes and not juss for Chrissmuss...



6. Tax - din't we alreaddy cover dat? No? Oh well, ....*shuffles feet*.....*blushes*...I haz to tell you that taxes is goin up....but juss for hoomans....



7. Housing - we promises that we puts an end to tempry accomodayshun like dis...



....rilly, we got plans for you....



8. Defence - defence? We doin it right....seriously, you no wanna mess wiv us...



....but we is promisin that nuffink else bad appen for the Afghans. I fink they too bootiful for any more problems...



9. Environment - Lola do be constantly pollutin the environment wiv toots and trumps. Haz gotta stop. We uses policy to name and shame major contributors to greenhouse gases...




So, that rilly do be it. It be your vote. Use it wisely. I fink I do be deservin your votes.

Marley, Prime Dog.....woof

15 comments:

  1. A vote for you, is like a vote for THWOCKing puppies all over the world!

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  2. Maggie & me do be voting Marley!!! (Although I'm not sure an election manifesto should make you laugh until your tummy hurts) ;-)

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  3. You got ma vote! Marley for Prime Minister! i fink we need policy about anyone wot abandon animals is gonna get more than just a hard stare from me!

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  4. thats a terrifik platform, I duzn't know who to vote for nao cuz Shiva an Jaya iz pwomising mousies for all, duz you pwomise mousies for all too?

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  5. I am seriously considering moveing to the UK, vote for you and get a dog!

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  6. I thought your manifesto was so good, I sent it to a politician of my acquaintance! If you see any of your ideas showing up in press conferences over the next day or two, you'll know what happened...

    PS There's a lot of squirrels outside and they say they want a word...

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  7. Where do I put my X Marley? Keen to see you on the election trail now and then in office putting your promises in to action.

    Marley for Prime Dog! *strokes*

    Julie
    x

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  8. Thats it Marley , Mika and I are voting for you!!!
    I was having problems deciding but you've solved that now
    xx

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  9. Ah, so Lola be the cause of the global warmings? Every candidate does has a skeleton in hims closet, BOL! I would vote for you if'n I lived in Inglund. But I is coming up ahind you on the Twitter wall so I vote for you there, k? Does that count?

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  10. You have my vote! Tell Lola to stop making those gases :-)

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  11. Well you certainly convinced me. Nice to meet you and if you get a chance with all your busy campaigning, please stop by and visit us!

    Pat
    www.critteralley.blogspot.com

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  12. That all makes a lot of sense... I will be putting my X in your box Marley.

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  13. Marley for President, errr sorry Prime Minister!
    Vote Marley, Change we can believe in!
    Arthur Brandon

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  14. Stupid revolution. Because if it I am American not English (even tho I am English Bulldog) and can't vote for you. Oh wait, "taxation w/out representation," so I couldn't have voted for you anyway. Hey, can you add fixing that in your platform? Then if you win, we could join back up, and I could be British English bulldog!

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Ello for you. This is where you can say ello for me and leave some forts. I like it when peeple be sayin fings